A Whole Lot of Food… but Maybe Not Such Good Flavors

For whatever reason, when my sibling came to visit they brought with them two MREs (meals ready to eat). Neither of us are in the military, where these meals are generally used. They just had access to them and thought it would be amusing to bring a couple of these around so we could taste test them. See how bad they were, see what we liked and what we didn’t. And if they were absolutely awful, well, that’s even better (at least for the joke).

And, of course, I’ve yet to find a food item that I can’t write about after consuming, so we have a review of one of the MREs, the Mexican Chicken Stew, along with all the accoutrements that came in the package:

Chocolate Hazelnut Protein Shake

Getting the worst out of the way first, I mixed up this protein shake after I got the main course warming up in its heat pouch (we’ll cover the details of that when we get to it). This was one of two drink options provided in the meal kit, a breakfast-style shake for those looking for something packed with protein and maxed out on chocolate flavor. I will note, I’m not a huge fan of hazelnuts or their flavor, so I tackled this first under the assumption it would suck and then I could cover up that flavor with anything else from the bag.

And I was right, this did suck, although not for the reasons I expected. The powdered mix (once stirred up with eight ounces of water) was heavy on the chocolate flavor, light on the hazelnut, so it actually didn’t taste that bad. The issue was that it didn’t mix well at all. It had a nasty, gritty flavor that practically forced you to chew the shake. I assume that was from the actual hazelnuts used in the mix, but whatever this case, this was really gross. The texture absolutely ruined it so, after a couple of requisite gulps to get the experience, this shake went down the drain.

Cranberry Orange Beverage Mix

The other drink mix in the pack was basically an off-brand Kool-Aid. The beverage mix came in a little tube and was meant for pouring into twenty ounces of water in a canteen. I grabbed a big glass, filled it with water, poured the mix in, and stirred. Thankfully the flavor on this was really nice. Light and sweet, with just a trace of artificial sweetener flavor (it was marked as sugar free, so this was not a surprise). I’m not a huge fan of sugar free flavors so even if this was available on its own I wouldn’t normally get it. But as part of this kit, and in a pinch, this wasn’t bad. It was actually lightly fruits and quite drinkable.

Crackers and Cheese Spread with Jalapenos

I honestly had higher hopes for this than I probably should have. This is a pre-packed meal kit so you don’t expect anything in here to be that good. At the same time, though, we’ve had plenty of companies make crackers and cheese in pre-packed forms for decades. That is a food-type technology that we as a society have pretty well nailed down. It’s not hard to make crackers and cheese and make them decent… but this meal kit somehow failed to rise to that low bar.

There was nothing offensively wrong about the crackers or the cheese, but they also weren’t good. The cracker was dry and flavorless, reminding me of a thicker matzoh wafer. The cheese had a good, sharp flavor up front, more on the cheddar side than American cheese, and the jalapenos were spicy enough. But there was a tinny taste on the back end of the cheese that made it less palatable than it should have been. If I were desperate I could see eating these, but I wasn’t, so after a few bites these were also set aside.

Cheese Filled Pretzels - Cheddar Flavor

This bag of snacks had, as the name suggested, crunchy pretzel bites filled with cheese. The bites actually weren’t bad. They tasted a lot like Combos, except not as salty or grease. Like a lesser Combo, but one I could actually see snacking on more. The biggest issue was that they were just kind of… there. They weren’t super flavorful, leaning more on the pretzel flavor than the cheese. They weren’t a bad snack, but I’ve certainly had better, and cheesier, pretzels. They, like so many other items here, would do in a pinch, but I wouldn’t seek them out.

Mixed Fruit

This pouch effectively contained a large version of the usual mixed fruit cup you can find in grocery stores. This was the most “normal” item in the pack, filled with canned pineapple, melon bits, and cherries, although it really wasn’t that great. A basic mixed fruit cup is something you eat because you need some fruit and you don’t have anything better. This mix tasted exactly like that, good for what it is because you need to eat fruit, but you’d absolutely like to have anything better. Plus, because this was vacuum packed, the fruit was even mushed up some. Nothing about it was perfect, and you’d really only eat it because it was there.

First Strike Nutritious Energy Bar - Chocolate Flavor

This was the first really good item in the pack, a chewy chocolate snack bar that really hit the spot. It was like a granola bar, chewy and with a cereal-like texture. The flavor was also spot on, very chocolatey and quite delicious. Of all the items I sampled (not counting the main course), this was the only part that I’ve actually kept around to continue snacking on. A couple of bites provide the flavor, and then I set the rest aside for another snack down the road. It’s fantastic.

Mexican Chicken Stew

And now we get to the main course. I sampled everything else in the kit while this was cooking because you need to heat it up before eating. The pack comes with a heat bag as well as a protective cardboard sleeve, and functionally what you do is slip the stew packet into the larger heat bag, add just a little water (which activates the heat pack and gets the whole thing warming), and then put it all in the protective sleeve, setting it all aside to let it cook. Fifteen minutes later you then get to open your meal pack and eat a warm bit of stew.

At least that’s how it’s supposed to work in theory. In practice I followed the instructions, let it sit the full fifteen minutes, and then opened it up to find that the stew was still quite cold. I ended up pouring it into a bowl and then microwaving it another two minutes (which, were this something I was eating out in the field I wouldn’t have the luxury of doing) just to get it to an edible temp. This was required because at the temp the baggie got it to, the stew was still hard and quite difficult to stir.

Once it was up to tempt, though, this was actually pretty decent. I’d liken the flavor to an enchilada chili. It had a strong tomato base with decent Mexican seasoning, and it came packed with chunks of chicken, corn, and onions. The sauce was tasty, and not overly salty, and the whole thing actually did taste like a decent Mexican stew. It reminded me of a soup I’d get out of a can, maybe from Campbells, and while those aren’t the best soups around, for a field kit eaten on the go, this really wasn’t bad. For all the bad things you hear about MRE meals, this stew was at least a pretty edible main course.

Final Thoughts

This first MRE was a mixed bag. A few of the elements were solidly good (like the stew and the breakfast bar) and others were okay enough (like the fruit and the pretzels) that if I was desperate, and this was the meal kit I got for the day, I’d eat them. But some items were just not good, like that protein shake, and there is no amount of desperation that would get me to try that again. Overall this would probably be decent if you were out in the middle of nowhere, and the only meal you could get is the one in this pack. But even then, you’ll eat it grudgingly and then wish you had more of the protein bar and the stew, because those were the highlights of the day.