Say Yes to the Dress

Doctor Who (2005): "The Runaway Bride"

The first couple of years for the newly relaunched Doctor WhoThe longest running sci-fi franchise (at least in terms of sheer seasons), Doctor Who has seen cancelations, relaunches, and reboots, but the core of the series remains the same: a madman in a box traveling through time and space. were tumultuous, to say the least. The end of the first series saw the departure of lead actor Christopher Eccelston, forcing the series to regenerate the character from 9th Doctor into 10th Doctor far early than anyone initially expected. The creators then had to take the first holiday special, "The Christmas Invasion", and assure the fans that despite the change in lead actor the show would still be the one they loved. The Doctor's face could change but the series would move on with its familiar, and fun, beats. And then the series had to do it again.

When Eccelston left, the series relied on Billie Piper's Rose to be the grounding presence of the series, the familiar character we could continue to associate with the series. But then at the end of the second series she left, too. Normally the change of companions wouldn't be the biggest issue of the series. We say some tearful goodbyes, the Doctor goes off on another adventure and eventually he finds a new, regular companion to travel with. That had to be the plan for New Who, too, but Rose was the character, the lead of the series, our everywoman who had been with use since the 2005 relaunch. How could the show carry on with a different Doctor -- Tennant's 10th -- without Rose around as well? That was the task that the second holiday special, "The Runaway Bride", had to complete.

I've watched this episode a few times over the years and, in many ways, I don't feel like this episode, on its own, is anywhere near as successful as the previous holiday special. It's fun, it's silly, and it has its moments, but it's nowhere near as strong an episode when it comes to its writing, its characters, or its ideas. It's more in line with what I'd call the typical Davies style of story: heavy on bombast, light on plot plot details that make any kind of sense. It makes for an episode where events just kind of happen, where the only explanation for anything is a lot of technobabble, and where you know everything will work out not because of any kind of suspenseful adventure but just because someone has to survive this episode for the next set of episodes (which were already in production) to happen. The ultimate anti-climax.

After having lost Rose in an parallel reality in the previous season, the Doctor (David Tennant) has to travel off on his own. He gets surprised, though, when a woman, Donna Noble (Catherine Tate), magically appears in his TARDIS. She was just about to get married when, all of a sudden, she starts glowing and vanishes, magically transported into the Doctor's ship. As he notes (after a long period of confusion about what is going on), transporting into the TARDIS should be impossible. It simply can't be done. But Donna is there, she's angry (she was about to get married), and she wants answers.

So the Doctor works to try and get Donna to her wedding. Being unable to cross her own timeline, the Doctor has to land and take Donna back after the wedding has already ended (without her there). They discover all the guests went to the reception without the bride, and they're having a grand time. They assume it was a prank or something, a bit of a laugh. But then danger comes for Donna and the Doctor and it becomes all too clear that more is going on than just a weird random transport. Why did Donna show up in the TARDIS and what does it mean for her... an the fate of the planet.?

There are any number of flaws with "The Runaway Bride", and we'll discuss them all, but the first major issue is that Donna is just not a likable character. Not up front. While acknowledging that she did just get ripped out of her own wedding and has a right to be a bit angry, her character on the series, when she's first introduced, is just unpleasant. I know this word is thrown around as a kind of a slur against women, but in this particular instance I don't think there's a better term to describe her attitude than shrill. She's loud, her voice piercing at times, and she yells at the Doctor a lot. It's just not fun to be around.

Tate does settle into her character when Donna calms down a bit. Then the actress's natural charisma with Tennant comes through. The friendship that quickly forms between them is nice, and you almost begin to like Donna after this, certainly enough that when she came back for the fourth series you don't hate the idea of her stick around... so long as she doesn't yell so much. Still, this episode is rough to get through just because the entire first half is choppy and unenjoyable.

Unfortunately once the episode settles down with its characters it immediately loses its way on the story. The big bad, as is eventually revealed, is the Racnoss, a spider-like creature (who, in fairness to the series, has some quite elaborate puppetry and prosthetics to pull off the look of the villain). Donna came onto the TARDIS because she's the host to some kind of magical particle, and as it's explained this magical particle had to get slowly ingested by her and then it had to brew and come to fruition. This, the Racnoss made a deal with a guy to find a host, and he found Donna. He brought her coffee at work every day (thus getting her to ingest the particles) and then he agreed to marry her so the adrenaline of the moment would cause the gestating particles to warm up and be ready. But no one expected the TARDIS to fly by and drag her in, ruining the plan.

Why do the Racnoss need this particle? So they can power up their ship that's been buried at the center of the Earth since the planet formed, and they want to get their ship out and conquer the Earth before flying off and doing it to other planets and... okay, this was where my brain absolutely shut off because this whole plot hinges on a huge series of coincidences that just don't make much sense. Like, at all. It's one narrative convenience after another to justify the plot because, at the end of the previous season, Donna appeared in the TARDIS and now the writer, Russell T. Davies, had to write themselves out of a corner.

Think about it: The Earth's core is a super-hot, super compressed, ball of hot iron. If the ship was there at the formation of the planet it would be compressed down to nothing along with all that iron. It's not going to just magically survive somehow. And before you say, "well, maybe the ship wasn't exactly at the center,", no, we're shown that the ship is the literal core that caused the planet to form. No getting around that. That ship is a ball of hot iron, sorry Racnoss. The Doctor doesn't have to try and stop you as the formation of the planet took care of that.

But if we can somehow ignore that, the plot requires that, first, a man has to find the Racnoss somehow and agree to work with them. Second, the Racnoss and the man have to stumble upon a secret Torchwood facility under the Thames that is properly positioned so they can dig down to the center of the Earth to find their ship. Third, that facility also has to be making vats of that specific particle the Racnoss needs to restart their ship. And the guy then has to find a woman who is willing to date him, marry him, and not question anything about him. Oh, and when she disappears at their wedding, he has to not care about her, or the big plan to help the Racnoss, so he can go off and party and assume everything is fine. Like... what the literal hell? None of it makes sense.

Where the show works is in the quiet moments, when it's just the Doctor hanging out, being friends, finding common ground. Those moments are great. But everything around the characters is terrible. It's a bad episode only elevated by great performances (eventually). The one task that the episode accomplishes is that it illustrates, very well, that the Doctor can have the kind of easy, familiar chemistry with a companion not named "Rose". Outside of that, though, this episode is a waste of time.