Not Even a Silver Medal

On a recent trip up to Northern Virginia I had a craving for some breakfast food. You know that itch, when you really want something like Denny’s or IHOP, that blend of greasy spoon breakfast with a bit of comfort and warmth. It’s not a frequent desire I have as, generally speaking, I’m not the biggest fan of breakfast food, but when the urge strikes I absolutely want to sate that craving. You strike when the iron is hot, and hot breakfast food sometimes sounds good.

Having frequently traveled up to Northern Virginia before, I knew of a place that did the Denny’s style experience but with a little more flair. In fairness, I hadn’t been there in a while, but I remembered the couple of times I visited the restaurant I liked the experience. So with that craving lurking in my brain, I gathered a couple of people to join up with me so we could head over to the Silver Diner and grab the breakfast food I was craving. As it turned out, though, I didn’t end up getting breakfast.

As I learned, at some point in the recent past the restaurant reworked itself and went for an even more upscale diner experience. A few of the items people really liked were removed, and everything was redone to be “fancy”. I’m not opposed to fancy food, mind you (see my review of Victoria & Albert's), so I was still hoping this meal would turn out well. They had a brunch menu, although nothing on there appealed to me. They have omelets and other breakfast sundries, but again I wasn’t that interested in what I saw. As I looked over the menu my desire for breakfast faded since nothing looked like it would sate my specific craving (which was weird, but this does happen). So I settled in and found something else to eat, as did my companions, and we sampled whatever seemed interesting from the Silver Diner.

Tomato Bisque

Without realizing it, my lunch at the Silver Diner started with the best item of our order, a creamy tomato soup. I tended to hesitate to buy tomato soup out as, when it comes to tomato soup, I’m a simple man with simple tastes. I grew up on Campbell’s tomato and while I know that’s not the “best” version of tomato soup, it's the flavor I expect. Despite all my fancy tastes otherwise, I was the most basic tomato, apparently. Most restaurants don’t serve basic tomato, though, instead opting for some kind of tomato basil, which I feel ruins the flavor. You can put chunks of tomato in, you can give it a creamy base, but I want to taste tomato and not a lot of other stuff.

Thankfully the bisque at the Silver Diner was great. It was smooth and rich, with a tasty cream base. It had a bit of chunkiness to it, but not offensively so, and it tasted simple, clean, and good. It’s probably not the tomato most would like, but I enjoyed it for the simple pleasures it provided. Sadly, this would also be the highlight of the meal.

Hickory Smokehouse Cheddar Burger

For my main I went with a burger. I know I was there for breakfast, but my mind changed and I just had to roll with it. Diner burgers are also good, so I figured shifting over to a burger when the breakfast options didn’t appeal was a good substitute. Hell, I’ve gotten burgers for breakfast before so, in a way, I was still getting the breakfast I wanted. You know, from a certain point of view. In the end, though, I probably should have gone with actual breakfast food instead.

The smokehouse burger is listed as being bbq-basted, with cheddar, caramelized onions, cremini mushrooms, nitrate-free bacon. I’ll be honest, though, I barely tasted or noticed most of it. The ingredients were all there, for sure, but the burger was mostly just bland. Bland meat, bland toppings, and a sweet but otherwise not noteworthy barbeque sauce on top. I actually had to get more barbeque just to get much flavor from it, and then I ended up mostly using it to dip my fries instead.

The biggest issue with the burger, though, was its greasiness. I’m not sure of their cooking process, or the quality of the meat they buy, but this Silver Diner burger was absolutely dripping with grease. It was worse than any fast food burger I’ve gotten before, with the grease running off the burger whenever I touched it. Added to that, I ordered the burger medium-well, but it was far closer to medium-rare than I would have liked. When asked, the server said it was medium well, and I didn’t feel like arguing just to get it refired. I ate about half of it, found it all to be pretty gross, and didn’t finish.

The fries were good, though. Like, crispy, a bit like shoestring fries. They were great with the sweet barbeque and, had I gotten them with a sandwich that was actually worth eating, I probably would have enjoyed them even more. On the whole, though, it was a disappointing sandwich experience.

Avocado Toast

Meanwhile, my wife ordered the avocado toast. She was in the mood for something light, and she does have some dietary restrictions (gluten and dairy issues) that keep her mindful. She also wasn’t thrilled by the breakfast options on offer, so she went with something simple and then stole bits of my soup and fries to compliment her meal (which I was fine with). Like me, she figured something simple would be hard to screw up. Somehow, Silver Diner managed anyway.

Her avocado toast is listed on the menu as “avocado mix, hemp hearts, olive oil, microgreens, sourdough, with cage-free Amish eggs.” The eggs she liked, the rest she did not. The gluten free bread she ordered (instead of the sourdough) was fine but unremarkable, but the real issue was the “avocado mix”. It didn’t taste like avocado; it was guacamole. Like, it tasted like guac, with the seasoning mix adding to that vibe. It’s like the restaurant said, “we have this guac for other stuff, just put it on the toast, too.” While it was fine enough as guac, spread and served on toast made it taste weird. It was a bad mix.

I have to wonder why they make the dish this way. Most places slice avocado, place it on buttered bread, and then call it a day. I would assume the avocado mix is made to save costs since you’re using less avocado, but considering they charge $16.99 for a plate of avocado toast, one would hope they wouldn’t scrimp and put guac on the dish. Clearly value for the money wasn’t a consideration.

As with my burger my wife didn’t finish her toast and, frankly, I can’t blame her. I tasted the avocado mix and, yeah, it was all pretty gross.

Triple-Peach Soda

There was one other highlight for the meal: the drink. My wife and I both got the Triple-Peach Soda, which is listed on the menu as “golden queen, white peach purée, club soda”, and, yeah, it was good. It was light and refreshing, not too sweet but still very tasty. It was kind of expensive, at $5.99 for a single glass (and I’m not sure they did free refills but I seriously doubt it), and that doesn’t even take into account that the restaurant wants you to throw a shot of vodka or rum in there for an extra five bucks. We did not.

It was a good drink. If I were to go to Silver Diner again I’d absolutely get the soda. And the fries. A plate of fries with a tasty soda, as if I were a college student awake at 3:00 AM avoiding writing a paper (this is a very specific experience I had in college). But the rest of it? No. The soup was tasty, sure, but I wouldn’t go back just for that. And I’m absolutely avoiding their burgers, and their avocado toast, now. It’s hard to think of a specific reason I would go back, honestly, since their menu barely resembles what I remembered and the stuff I tried now largely failed to impress.

I go into every restaurant with an open mind, especially when they’re revamped and are doing something new. I don’t like to get hung up on the past and sometimes change can be good. Hell, I remember I liked the Silver Diner in the past but I can’t remember the specifics of what I got or what I liked beyond, “it’s like Denny’s, but better.” Now, though, I think I’d rather just go to Denny’s. Their food might be crap but it’s at least reliable crap.