Chinese Food?

I love Asian food. It’s basically my favorite food, and though I know it’s really multiple regions with their own individual cuisines (with some overlap but a lot of individuality), when you ask, “what do you want to eat?” I’ll say, “Asian,” and I’m not at all picky about what that leads to. Sushi, Curry, Thai, Chinese, Fusion, doesn’t matter to me. If it has Asian flavors then you don’t even have to try and cajole me into going. I’ll already be in the car, gassed up, ready to go, engine on, waiting for you to hurry up.

For good and ill, that does include Panda Express. I don’t think anyone, Panda Express included, would call what they serve “Chinese Food”. Their own signage labels it as “American Chinese Cuisine” which should tell you all you need to know. It has some Asian influence, some dishes might even be called something familiar, but this is about as close to real Chinese food as a McDonalds burger is to fine dining. That’s not to say it’s bad, but you have to know, going in, what exactly you’re signing up for.

This is the restaurant chain, after all, that made famous Orange Chicken. The restaurant claims to be the inventor of the dish, with Chef Andy Kao stating he made the first version of Orange Chicken at a Panda Express in Hawaii. Realistically that makes the dish about as American as anything served, but that doesn’t stop it from being good. It’s famous for a reason, and that’s also why so many other restaurants worldwide have taken to making Orange Chicken. It’s not Chinese, but even Chinese restaurants agree it’s damn good.

Recently I was in an area with a Panda Express (the town I live in doesn’t have one for miles and miles), so I took it as an opportunity to sample a selection of three of Panda Express’s standard, famous dishes to see if the food was just as good as I remembered. I got them with white rice so I could taste the food on its own, without any fried rice or lo mein flavor getting in the way, and here’s the results of my taste test.

Orange Chicken

Naturally, if I’m reviewing Panda Express I have to try the dish that made them famous, Orange Chicken. The dish consists of fried chicken pieces in a sweet, tangy, and slightly spicy sauce made from orange juice, sugar, soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, ginger, and chili flakes. It’s listed as spicy on the menu, although they also now have a Hot Orange Chicken, which is made with six times more chili flakes as well as crushed chili peppers, but I was sampling the restaurant with others, and they don’t like spice, so the basic Orange Chicken was our choice for the meal.

And, yeah, it’s good. It’s like a lot of dishes you’ve probably had before (even if you haven’t had Orange Chicken), such as General Tso’s and Sesame Chicken. Fried chicken bits tossed in sauce is always good, but credit to Panda Express: they do it better than just about anyone. I got the food to go, so it sat for a bit in its own steam, and yet even after that, and the time it took to organize and serve, the Orange Chicken was still crispy. It’s outside had the crunch, as well as a nice, caramelized texture. The inside meat was moist and flavorful. The sauce was sweet and tangy, but not overly so. Like, it hit all the right notes, tasting and feeling the way I want this kind of dish to be.

It’s hard to pass up Orange Chicken any time I go to Panda Express (which, because so much of their food is fried, isn’t often). There aren’t very many dishes they do better, even with as frequently as they change out other items to have a mixed and varied selection. Orange Chicken is the reason they exist, really, and they do it up right. Hardly anything can compare.

Beijing Beef

With that said, there is one dish that is just as good, if not sometimes even better: Beijing Beef. This is another fried dish containing crispy pieces of marinated beef, sautéed red bell peppers and onions, all coated in a sweet, spicy, and tangy soy-based sauce. Again this is a dish that’s listed as hot, but it’s not really hot at all. The people I was with can’t do spice but they didn’t blink twice at my getting us Beijing Beef. It’s that mild. But just because it’s mild doesn’t mean it’s bad. This is a legitimate winner any time I go there.

Like with the Orange Chicken, Panda Express’s Beijing Beef is surprisingly crunchy. It’s lightly battered and fried, but the texture is both crispy and tender. The beef they use likely isn’t a supremely great cut, but they tenderize the hell out of it and marinate it really well. That, combined with their stir-fry cooking process, gets the meat at the right level of cooked but still moist, flavorful and crunchy, with a nice, caramelized coating on the outside. And the sauce, while maybe a little sweeter than what’s on the Orange Chicken, is still very tasty and not super overpowering.

When I go to Panda Express normally I’ll get a couple of not-fried chicken dishes and then either the Orange Chicken or the Beijing Beef as a kind of splurge and, nine times out of ten, I’ll choose Beijing Beef. I really like it that much, even though I acknowledge the Orange Chicken is fantastic.

Broccoli Chicken

Here’s my dark secret: even though I will eat just about anything (other than bananas), I’m really not a fan of broccoli. I’ve never really liked the little trees when they’re in dishes, and I absolutely won’t eat the stuff on its own. Growing up the only way to get me to eat broccoli was to let me put ketchup on it because it helped cover up the taste. To this day I’d much rather get an Asian dish with anything other than broccoli because I just seriously don’t like them. Still, the group I was with wanted a not-fried dish, the Mushroom Chicken was out, and they don’t like spice so my other go-to, Kung Pao Chicken, was a no-go. So Broccoli Chicken it was.

The restaurant makes the dish with a teriyaki sauce, broccoli (of course), chicken (naturally), and onions. It tastes fine. The brown sauce is light and flavorful, the meat moist (although without the fried coating of their more famous dishes, decidedly less moist), and the veggies cooked well but not to the point of being soggy. I might not like broccoli but I had to admit that the Broccoli Chicken actually tasted pretty good for what it was. I even ate some of the broccoli and was pleasantly pleased to find that the sauce covered up the taste of the green pretty well. I don’t know if that would be a rousing endorsement for the dish for most but it worked great for me.

I’d still go with Mushroom Chicken and Kung Pao over Broccoli Chicken if left to my own devices. But if I had to get something for a group that we could also share, Broccoli Chicken works well enough in a pinch.

Spring Rolls

I was also asked to get appetizers. I like spring rolls normally so that’s what I got for the group: a big batch of spring rolls. I prefer these over egg rolls as I find the outer layer of egg rolls to be too thick and kind of gross. Spring rolls, by comparison, are lighter and more delicate, with a snappy crunch I like. So if apps are what’s requested from Panda Express, this is what I’m getting.

Panda Express’s Spring Rolls are made with a crispy wrapper filled with a mixture of vegetables (cabbage, celery, carrots, and green onions), along with mung bean vermicelli. They are not the best spring rolls I’ve ever had, but they do work in a pinch. The exterior is light and crispy, like I like, but I do find the outer coating to be kind of bland. Meanwhile, although the mix of veggies inside are nice, the vermicelli inside feels a little soggy and kind of thick. I’d much prefer if the rolls were filled just with veggies, but I’m sure the noodles are included to save costs on these cheap little rolls.

They aren’t bad, and I’ve gotten these rolls more than once. But in comparison to what Panda Express does really well, their Spring Rolls are very much a step down for the restaurant. Get them only if you really want a bit of crunchy roll to break up the rest of the meal.

Pomegranate Pineapple Lemonade

Finally, drinks. While Panda Express has sodas like everyone else, they’ve also frequently had other items for sale that aren’t your usual Coke selection. It used to be that the chain served Izzy fizzy fruit drinks, but recently that seems to have been switched with their own, house-made Panda Crafted beverages. These drinks come in four flavors: Mango Guava Tea, Pomegranate Pineapple Lemonade, Watermelon Mango Refresher, and Peach Lychee Lemonade. As I’m a huge fan of lemonade, as well as both pomegranate and pineapple, the Pomegranate Pineapple Lemonade was the obvious choice for me.

And, yeah, it’s good. I don’t know that I’d say its pomegranate flavor was particularly strong, adding more of a berry taste to the drink, but it certainly does lend a very dark red look to it. The pineapple and lemon flavors are more strong, blending into a taste, albeit sweet, flavor. It’s not healthy at all, being fairly sugary, but it does have the right mix of berry, lemon, and tart flavor that I really liked. While I’ll probably miss having Izzy drinks at Panda Express, this handcrafted lemonade is a pretty close second. Light, refreshing, and very tasty.

Final Thoughts

So yeah, I’d call the trip a success. Nothing was out-and-out bad and most of it was great. I did gravitate to the dishes I knew would please the crowd (so no Honey Walnut Shrimp, for example), but overall the experience was met with a lot of happy faces and contended chewing noises. The food isn’t the most authentic, and all the fried food is really bad for you, but every once in a while you get this craving for what Panda Express peddles, and there’s a reason for that. What they do they do very well. Just accept it’s fast food Asian and you’ll enjoy the experience.