A Little Bit of This, a Bit More of That

I think we all, deep down, kind of like Taco Bell. We all realize it’s not great food, of course. Taco Bell isn’t an impressive restaurant. It’s barely even Mexican food, honestly. It does have a certain flavor, a kind of shitty allure to it, that makes the food hit at just that moment when you want it. It’s like White Castle in that respect, food you wouldn’t normally eat but when the mood strikes, usually because you’re tired, or drunk, or it’s very, very late at night, there’s nothing quite like Taco Bell to satisfy your cravings.

I had one of those nights, where it was late and I hadn’t eaten and I just wanted to grab something quick that wasn’t a burger and fries. My local Taco Bell is open until two, so they were my obvious stop. I grabbed my orders, one of their Discovery Luxe Boxes, and decided to give this weird combo they’re offering a whirl. Here are my thoughts:

Avocado Ranch Crispy Chicken Burrito

The main entree of the platter is this burrito. Per Taco Bell, this is a warm flour tortilla filled with two strips of premium all-white meat crispy chicken, marinated with bold Mexican spices, and coated in a crunchy tortilla chip breading, then topped with real shredded cheddar cheese, freshly prepared pico de gallo, crisp lettuce, shredded purple cabbage, and cool Avocado Ranch sauce. All of that adds up to a lot of different things going on all at once.

The star of this show should be the crispy chicken. I had Taco Bell’s nuggets a while back, which I was impressed by, and these strips are made the same way. Honestly they should be good here, but there’s so much other stuff going on in the burrito that the chicken gets lost. I notice the texture of it, the chew of the chicken, but the crunchy of the crispy coating is gone, made soggy by everything else. Mostly what I tasted was the Avocado Ranch which didn’t impress me. It was bland, almost a little gross. Kind of like mayo but a little less squishy. It wasn’t completely inedible, but the whole time I was eating it I wished I’d gotten a different burrito in the box instead of the default option.

Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco

This is pretty much a Taco Bell classic at this point. Whatever genius thought to put nacho cheese seasoning on the outside of a taco shell deserves a Nobel Prize. I don’t care if it doesn't bring peace to the world, is a medical mystery, and basically ruins pocket book economics. This taco sheel is delicious. Filled with the basics of a Taco Bell taco – seasoned ground beef, shredded cheese, and lettuce – it’s hard to go wrong with this taco any time o you make a run to the Bell.

I will say that I would have preferred getting a Supreme version in my box, adding tomatoes and sour cream to the whole combo. The box costs $9 at minimum, and with some swapping of options and upgrading my drink it ran me a full $13. That’s not the worst combo out there, but for what’s in here I’d expect something a little more primo for that cost. A normal Doritos Locos Taco doesn’t feel quite worthwhile enough.

Crunchy Taco

And then we come to the other taco of the group, and it’s not even Locos. This is the standard Taco Bell taco and, sure, you can’t go wrong with it. Crunchy shell, ground meat, lettuce, cheese, it’s all here. But like with the Doritos Locos Taco in this box, it would have been nice if this was a Supreme version instead of the basic taco. Tomatoes and sour cream do not cost that much, and for a box that’s labeled as “Luxe”, two of the more standard tacos do not feel all that “Luxe”.

Chips and Guacamole

The box, by default, comes with Cinnamon Twists. I hate cinnamon. It is a flavor I do not care for, especially on its own. Instead of bitching about that in an article when I know there are plenty of people that love that flavor, I swapped my Cinnamon Twists out for something I would eat: chips and guac. And it was fine. Taco Bell isn’t exactly known for their guacamole, and what I got in the little cup for dipping wasn’t especially impressive. Mashed avocado made into a smooth paste, with some pico thrown in and stirred. It wasn’t super flavorful by any measure, but it was better than cinnamon.

I will say that my wife had some of the guac as well and she liked it. She is known for really liking blander food, so she can, as she puts it, “taste all the natural ingredients.” So maybe that’ll work for you, too. I wanted more flavor.

Strawberry Lime Refresca Freeze

And finally, my drink. Here, too, I made a substitution. Instead of the soda, which I could get anywhere (I prefer Dr. Pepper, although if Cherry Coke is on tap I can be lured that way), I went for something exclusive to Taco Bell: the Strawberry Lime Refresca Freeze. This was pretty good, actually. It had a zippy strawberry flavor with a solid hint of lime. Plus, I really like frozen drinks and this hit that urge for a Slurpee I never realize I have until I get something frozen in my hands and start to suck it down. It’s really hard to screw up a frozen drink, and Taco Bell has a good version here.

The one thing I will note is that the drink melts fast, so you want to stir it quickly when you get it. Otherwise you’ll end up with a gulp of pure syrup from the bottom and that can be pretty gross. Suck from the middle, or stir it a lot, to get a better experience.

Final Thoughts

Overall this wasn’t a great meal. I liked some of the items, specifically the two tacos, but I did think both of them should be upgraded for the price. The main burrito was bland and sad and I won’t be getting it again. The other two items were substitutions and, while good, feel like they shouldn’t really count. I would have liked this combo a whole lot less with a soda and Cinnamon Twists. As it was, the box was passable but that’s only because I used editorial choice, and paid extra for it. This box needs to be cheaper, or the food needs to improve, to make it a worthwhile experience. At nine bucks for what you get, this is pretty boring.