It's Uber-licious

Jason X

You can't go into a movie like this with high expectations. I mean, this is the 10th movie in a long running, notably bad, series of slasher flicks. Expecting something good from the series is like expecting the groundhog to come out on Feb 2nd and give a dissertation on how El Nino is affecting the seasonal changes and he can't honestly give an fair prediction this year (damn, that was a fucked up analogy). So, yeah, you can't expect much, especially when you wanna write about it for your little site and actually have to pay to watch it, as opposed to having an expense account to back you, like those real movie reviewers do...

So, yeah, as I was saying, you can't go in with high expectations... So it's sad when even those few little expectation-like hopes you do have aren't met at all... Yeah, so you see where this movie review is going.

Yeah, there is a plot, but it aint worth going into. Basically, Jason was frozen (sometime after he got out of hell, apparently) and left sitting for 400 years or so (the math never syncs up in the movie about how old he really is now). And of course, they thaw him out... retards. He gets up, starts killing, and only stops once... to become Uber Jason.

I would like to say Uber Jason is the best part of the film, but I can't. He does look awesome, and he kicks major ass, but he's in this movie less than the Scorpion King was in "the Mummy Returns." So yeah, very little screen time for the Ubermeister.

Really, the deaths aren't that great, the writing both weak and not very funny or engaging... I could go on, but I really hate destroying a movie like this so badly, since I am such a fan of slasher flicks...

So, yeah, this movie is a renter. You will enjoy it if you can get a bunch of people together to heckle it, along with plenty of pizza and booze. In other words, not as Uber as advertised...

The Good: One scene with the campers near the end was funny... that's about it.

The Bad: Everything else...