The Drive is Killer

This last weekend The Fall Guy (the 2024 reboot of the TV series of the same name) came out. It’s a movie that, by all accounts, should be a big, four-quadrant (men, women, young, old) win. It has critical approval, a solid A- cinema score from audiences, and is generally seen as one of the great action blockbusters for this year. And it also tanked at the Box Office, making far less than expected, and will struggle to recoup its $160 Mil budget, let alone actually even make real money.

I am one of the people to blame for this. I saw the trailers, was excited for it, and would be very happy to see it… but I also didn’t bother going to theaters to watch it last weekend. I want to see it, make no mistake, but the thought of driving 40 minutes (since I’m out in nowhere and the closest theater is at least 40 minutes away), spending that gad, having to get food (because I’m gonna get hungry), plus tickets and snacks at the theater (who doesn’t get snacks?) makes the whole trip feel like a lot. The theater I have in town is a shitty small thing that barely plays anything worthwhile, and even when they do the audio mix is off and the whole experience sucks, but going out to a big theater that’s far enough away that it feels like “a trip” also sucks. So I didn’t do either, and I didn’t see the movie.

Sure, I can justify it to myself. I’ll wait for it to be on Blu-Ray (which is an excuse that won’t work for much longer as every retailer ditches their aisles of home videos) or I’ll catch it on streaming (which… ugh, I hate doing that when I used to be able to buy movies) but that doesn’t send money to the film to help it be a success. I don’t really care if Hollywood studios make their money, but I do like supporting creatives and helping them continue to make fun and interesting works to entertain the masses. But I still didn’t go.

I also didn’t see Abigail, for the record, and that’s another one that was practically teed up for me. A vampire film from Universal that, from all reports, ties into the Dracula mythos? Yes, please. Sign me up. Or not, because that was also too much for me to motivate myself to go off to the theater and actually watch it. I don’t know why I couldn’t, beyond the fact that it would have just been me seeing it (since my wife doesn’t like horror) and driving 80 minutes round trip for it on my own felt like too much. But I wanted to…

And it’s not like I’m going to skip out on every movie that’s coming out. I will absolutely be there this weekend for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes because I love those films and I wouldn’t miss a new one for anything. Tickets are already bought and my wife and I have a whole day planned in that other town once we get there. And we’re also going to go see Furiosa in two weeks because we have to support that one. No one expected another Mad MaxStarted with a single 1970s Australian exploitation flick (a popular genre in the country at the time), the Mad Max series went on to spawn three sequels, an entire genre, style, and what many consider the greatest action film of all time, Fury Road. Not bad from a little low-budget film about cars smashing each other after the fall of society. after the sublime Fury Road underperformed at the Box Office, and I certainly won’t be a contributing factor this time around.

So what’s the difference between those films and The Fall Guy or Abigail? All four are films set just in my butter zone, and all are ones that I’m sure I’m going to enjoy (and then write about for this site afterwards). I guess it’s all down to theater fatigue and the fact that, yes, convenience has finally taken over from function. Going to the theater used to be something to look forward to but, as of late, it’s hard to get motivated to go out and do the thing when there are so many options at home that I can rely on instead.

All the factors that have been mentioned everywhere (including this site) do apply. COVID changed how we consume media and made all of us less inclined to go out and be around people. Streaming provides a ton of options, and we all know that, sooner or later, everything will be available to rent, “buy”, or stream online (and I say “buy” because you only own a digital movie for as long as the corporate daddy decides to pay for the license; it’s really just a long-form rental). Why go out when you can stay in?

But it’s also blockbuster fatigue, too. We’ve spent the better part of two decades chasing a number of IP-driven blockbusters, from the likes of superheroes and space operas. Some of them have been great, no mistake, but it’s also been a lot. A film has to do a lot now to drag people out of the house into a movie theater, and more and more it’s become clear that most people are tired of it. They’re tired of showing up for middling, big-budget blockbusters that fail to entertain. A film has to be special to get attention, a rare release from a trusted franchise or something new that really shows its value right off the bat. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes and Furiosa come from respected franchises that don’t force out movies every year (or more) so audiences are interested. The Fall Guy and Abigail may be new (or new enough, anyway), but they also don’t come with baked-in appeal and their trailers weren’t so good that people had to stand up and take notice. They struggled because of it.

Do I think Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes and Furiosa will do well? Well, this newest Planet of the ApesAlthough originally started with the 1963 novel, La Planete des singes, it's fair to say that the Apes franchise truly began with the 1968 film that kick started the original Fox film series and has helped tto keep these intelligent primates in the public conciousness for years. film is already projected to do $54 Mil its opening weekend, domestically, which is a far cry better than The Fall Guy. And with only a budget of $120 Mil, it’s likely the newest movie in the series will easily clear that, and then some, to become a solid hit. As for Furiosa, that film is too far out for tracking, but its budget is similar to that of Fury Road, which means the movie needs to likely clear $400 Mil to be considered a success and… well, it feels like that might still be a push.

Still, I know which ones I want to see, and it does seem like the buzz around these films is good enough to sustain both of them. Unlike the buzz around The Fall Guy, which mostly was people complaining that the marketing materials for the film didn’t emphasize the old TV show (which, I guess is fair, if you even remember it existed). Meanwhile, if we’re looking at movies getting no buzz, did you realize there’s a fourth Bad Boys film coming out in just a few weeks? Has anyone seen a trailer for this? Does anyone even care? My bet is, “no”.

Hollywood is in a weird place, a spot they engineered themselves by focusing too much on big-budget blockbusters over middle-budget reliable films, releasing less movies every year, and putting so much energy into streaming that they ate themselves in the process. Audiences care less and less about the theater experience (when the home theater experience is so comfortable) and they’re tired of the crap that Hollywood has been shoving out for the last twenty-ish years. When reliable films struggle to even get the die-hard movie fans (like me) out to see movies, you know something is wrong.

And yet… I’m still gonna wait for The Fall Guy to hit home video. I know I’m part of the problem. That doesn’t mean I’m going to change.